A Beach South of Tallahassee, Florida - Saturday Afternoon

[justlurkinghere]

So, Florida was warm and wonderful. And Derek hated it so much.

But it made for a nice trip around the damn near deserted FSU campus earlier that day, at least. And now there was a trip to the beach. Because they were in Florida. And it was a trip to the beach or a trip to Disney.

And Derek looked terrible in mouse ears. So.

He sat in the sand, looking surly and unapproachable to people. Which was his default expression after 'tragic and emotionally traumatized'.

[[NFB, duh. For the person there]]

Comments

[robinonadderall]

"I think I might be too pale and gangly for this state," Stiles said, flopping down in the sand next to Derek. "And it's hot."

[justlurkinghere]

"You're from California," Derek pointed out. Even though he was well aware it was northern California.

[robinonadderall]

"Dude, you know Beacon Hills gets cold," he said. "And when it gets hot it's not this hot. And sticky. It's hot and sticky here."

Yes. It was called humidity.

[justlurkinghere]

"Florida." Do you understand his disdain now? "Pretty sure there are alligators nearby."

That was a lie.

[robinonadderall]

"Alligators live in fresh water, dumbass." Don't you think he stumbled across that fact during late night Wiki'ing? "Crocodiles can tolerate sea water though."

[justlurkinghere]

HEY. SNAKES CAN'T BE POISONED BY THEIR OWN VENOM, STILES.

"Oh, how great to know."

[robinonadderall]

"Don't be jealous of my vast knowledge." It was oh so vast.

[justlurkinghere]

"You mean Wikipedia's knowledge."

[robinonadderall]

"How else are you supposed to learn?" he asked. "Reading on the computer still counts as reading."

[justlurkinghere]

"Sure, when you're actually reading and not looking at porn," Derek shot back. Because being a jerk was better than being liked. Yes.

[robinonadderall]

"There's nothing wrong with looking at porn," Stiles said. "It's perfectly healthy."

[justlurkinghere]

"Uh huh." Sure it was. Guilt fueled celibacy was too.

[robinonadderall]

"Dude, I know you are not judging me on my porn watching when I've seen what you use for fun in your free time." And Stiles was jealous of it. Not of the toys. Of having the toys.

Okay he was jealous of both.

[justlurkinghere]

Derek might have turned a vaguely red color at that. "I was eight."

YEAH, CLEARLY THAT WAS THE ISSUE HERE.

[robinonadderall]

"You weren't eight when you bought them," Stiles said, smirking. "Not that I'm judging. I'm kind of jealous."

Not of---oh Derek would get what he meant. Maybe.

[justlurkinghere]

Derek would choke on his spit is what he'd do. Are you happy now, Stiles?

"What?"

[robinonadderall]

"Not of the toys!" Stiles said quickly, hoping that his already pounding heart would cover up the lie. "Of, you know, owning them."

[justlurkinghere]

"They're just--" Oh god, why did this conversation even exist? "--they don't ask for ages online."

AND WHY DID HE CONTINUE IT?

[robinonadderall]

BECAUSE YOU LIKED TO TORTURE YOURSELF, DEREK.

"I'm not old enough to have a credit card, dude," he said. "And I am in no way having anything like that delivered to where my dad or Cade or you could find it."

[justlurkinghere]

THIS WAS A HORRIBLE CONVERSATION.

"You'll. Have a normal roommate soon." Who Derek would scare off by being creepy and intense at.

[robinonadderall]

"I don't want to expose any roommate of mine to sex toys I may or may not buy." That was just breaking some sort of roommate rule.

[justlurkinghere]

"...are you planning to share them?"

[robinonadderall]

"Okay, ew, that's not hygienic." Seriously, Derek, what the hell? "But people stumble across things and that's not how I want a new person to know that I'm into dudes."

[justlurkinghere]

"You could always just turn into an eight year old and do that," Derek muttered. Ugh, he hated Fandom so much.

[robinonadderall]

"I knew you were into dudes before that." Because, you know. Of all the gay sex they had during the weekend that shall not be spoken of.