It's Almost Normal Looking Mansion on Phoenix Way, Saturday Morning

[justlurkinghere]

Derek was still laying on the couch, on his stomach thank you, watching bad television this morning. His back was almost at 100%, but for now he was going to enjoy the wonder of having a place to recuperate that wasn't abandoned or looking like someone might build a meth lab there any moment now.

It was almost novel!

Now he just had to avoid Stiles until he could move normally again.

[[Open, of course!]]

Comments

[justlurkinghere]

Derek settled back in place, eyes fixed on a point just below the TV to avoid Stiles'. "You're the one who said it."

[robinonadderall]

"Actually I got it from the highly suspicious guidance counselor at Beacon Hills that I talked to last year," Stiles said. "Huh, maybe I should add her to the possible darach list..."

Ms. Blake was also going on there at some point. For reasons.

[justlurkinghere]

"Suspicious?"

Ah, safer topics!

[robinonadderall]

"She's working with the bad guys." Or she's at least putting up mountain ash for them. "But even before that she gave me a weird vibe. My weird vibes are never wrong, I can detect evil like nobody's business."

[justlurkinghere]

"Uh huh." You really shouldn't doubt him, Derek. Your track record was terrible.

[robinonadderall]

"I'm going to forgive you for your dubiousness because you haven't seen me in action." That could've been worded better. "But I am an evil detecting machine. For example, Puppy Joe? Not evil."

[justlurkinghere]

"Thank god for that," Derek drawled, shoving at him with his foot. It wasn't with enough force to send him flying off the couch, so it could probably be considered friendly.

[robinonadderall]

"See, now you can sleep soundly at night!" he said. "Also did you just touch me with your gross foot?"

[justlurkinghere]

"No." Now he was just being a brat.

[robinonadderall]

"So it was someone else touching me with their foot? I don't think so," Stiles said. "Don't be surprised if you wake up with my foot in your face, my friend."

[justlurkinghere]

Derek rolled his eyes, kicking him again. Like a petulant sibling. Yes. That was it.

Like a sibling.

[robinonadderall]

Stiles looked down at the offending foot before looking back up at Derek. "Are you seven?"

[justlurkinghere]

Possibly if you were talking about mentally!

"Shouldn't you be paying attention to the show?"s

[robinonadderall]

"How can I possibly pay attention when you're kicking me?" he asked. "Besides, I turned the TV on for you, dumbass."

Be in awe of his thoughtfulness.

[justlurkinghere]

"You also threatened to punch me."

Apparently the only way to get over a fight and ~emotions~ was to be as immature as possible.

[robinonadderall]

"It was just a threat," Stiles said, getting up when the doorbell rang. "Now give me money for pizza and I'll consider not bitching the next time you put your feet on me."

[justlurkinghere]

Derek sighed, shifting to get off the couch to grab his wallet. Which was promptly tossed at Stiles' face. "I know how much is in there."

He so did not.

[robinonadderall]

"Sure you do," Stiles said, picking the wallet up from the floor (like he was capable of catching it). "Thanks, honey bunch."

If you were worried that the pizza guy might be evil, Derek, never fear. Because Puppy Joe went with Stiles to answer the door. Of course that could be because he smelled pepperoni.

[justlurkinghere]

Puppy Joe was protective like that.

Protective of food.

"And bring napkins!" They weren't slobs here. Just because there were blood stains on the couch, didn't mean they needed to eat like homeless people.

[robinonadderall]

There was some annoyed mumbling, some of it definitely calling Derek prissy, but Stiles did come back with Derek's wallet, a couple of pizzas (some got left in the kitchen for Mike) and, yes, napkins.

"You know you could just wipe your hands on your pants." Like a normal person.

[justlurkinghere]

"I'm not staining my pants," Derek replied, taking one of the pizza boxes as soon as Stiles was in reach. Watch him put competitive eaters to shame!

[robinonadderall]

"Pizza stains come out," Stiles said, throwing a couple of napkins at Derek before sitting back down on the couch with his own pizza. "Don't forget to chew."

Pretty hypocritical advice from the guy who could inhale a box of curly fries in under a minute.

[justlurkinghere]

Shut up and let him wallow in his shaaaaaaaame.

"Ha ha," Derek said between slices. "See if I buy you pizza again."

He would. Because he was a sugar daddy.

[robinonadderall]

He really was, and Stiles knew it.

"I'm just worried about your health," Stiles said, leaning down to give Puppy Joe a pepperoni. "Not sure if I remember how to give the Heimlich."

[justlurkinghere]

Just don't let anyone else know. It was a secret.

"It doesn't look difficult. Not even you get it wrong."

Derek would probably screw it up, though. So. You know.