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justalphahere.livejournal.com - (no subject)
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arsenicmauls - Crazy Phone Day
robinonadderall - La la messed up phones
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reven8e.livejournal.com - Plot twist; all the crazy phones pass through Derek
suitably_heroic - And Another Crazy Phone
doubleohblonde - Crazy Phones 2.0
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fjordicswagger - Crazy Phone Day
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bitten_notshy - Crazy Phones!
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whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com - April Fool Phone
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Date: 2012-12-02 09:34 pm (UTC)Derek.everything sux an my dad hates me and scottsbeing a douche cause of the full moon :(((((((((((
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Date: 2012-12-02 09:45 pm (UTC)Your frowns meant nothing to him, Stiles. Nothing!
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Date: 2012-12-29 08:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-02-26 10:04 pm (UTC)"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey Derek. Hey. Hi. How are you? Is this actually the right Derek? If this isn't the Derek I want to talk to then go away. Go brood or pretend to be a train conductor or whatever you do in your excuse for a house."
"I forget why I wanted to talk to you. I don't miss you, if that's what you're thinking. 'Cause I don't. I miss Puppy Joe. And Mike. And my red hoodie 'cause I forgot to pack it."
"Kitty said if you and Mr. Barton lock me in a tower like a princess she'd help me get out."
"Okay, I need to go eat french fries or something."
Crazy Phone Day
Date: 2013-05-16 12:56 pm (UTC)"What? Uh, I really don't think I am to blame for squirrel politics. Are you sure you're not just long-lost squirrel royalty? Maybe a princess? 'Cause I can see it, actually."
Re: Crazy Phone Day
Date: 2013-05-17 02:39 pm (UTC)La la messed up phones
Date: 2013-05-16 02:13 pm (UTC)Did he sound bitter? He was a little bitter.
"Anyway, call me back---hold on I'm getting a text...oh god--SCOTT WHY DID YOU SEND MY DAD THOSE PICTURES OF ME AND DEREK HUGGING, YOU ARE GOING TO GET HIM ARRESTED."
Re: La la messed up phones
Date: 2013-05-17 02:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-17 03:36 am (UTC)And okay, to be honest, this might not have been so much phone madness as much as Kitty being unable to really return a call correctly at the moment.
So mainly this voicemail was a lot of liony meowing.
[From here!]
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Date: 2013-05-17 03:52 pm (UTC)Plot twist; all the crazy phones pass through Derek
Date: 2013-05-17 04:29 am (UTC)"Wait, Jessica? Who is he? Iron paw? Do we have a king of squirrels now? They kind of sounded socialists to me, but I've never talked to one. Who the hell talks to squirels anyway?
Also I think it's kind of rude you're blaming me of all people.
Re: Plot twist; all the crazy phones pass through Derek
Date: 2013-05-17 04:09 pm (UTC)And Another Crazy Phone
Date: 2013-05-17 06:28 am (UTC)"...Sorry, what? Did he dump your ass or something? Are you that hard up for it? Never gonna happen, kid."
Re: And Another Crazy Phone
Date: 2013-05-17 04:30 pm (UTC)Crazy Phones 2.0
Date: 2013-05-17 12:21 pm (UTC)I don't care if the squirrels are or aren't revolting, but I do wonder why you're in bed with them.
Re: Crazy Phones 2.0
Date: 2013-05-17 10:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-17 11:47 pm (UTC)"As if you're one to talk about strange people. Just... seriously? But, sure, congrats on your engagement! I hope you'll be happy together!"
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Date: 2013-05-18 12:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-18 02:27 am (UTC)"No offense sweetheart, but I don't exactly find you threatening. A little weird, maybe, but not threatening."
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Date: 2013-07-07 03:31 pm (UTC)Bad news: killer killed 3 more people. Good news: killer's not solely killing virgins as a pattern. Bad news: the patterns gonna keep changing 'cause of some Druid myth thing so everybody is a potential victim. Good news: had curly fries for lunch :D
P.S. Still haven't forgiven u for what u did to my hot dog yesterday
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Date: 2013-07-07 03:43 pm (UTC)Derek glared at his phone as though it offended him on some personal level before responding.
Do you have your mace?
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Date: 2013-07-30 04:45 pm (UTC)So, you know. Prepare yourself, Derek.
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Date: 2013-08-02 01:37 pm (UTC)"Hey, it's Kitty. Clint's gotten himself in a situation, and I'm going to Madripoor to help. I'm not 100% sure what I'm headed into or how long it'll take, so I wouldn't mind some backup. If you're up for it, be at my place in twenty minutes or I've got to leave without you. ...Okay, bye."
What was the appropriate sign off for that kind of message, really?
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Date: 2013-12-08 09:08 pm (UTC)It was total abuse of alpha powers, McCall family!
The text was followed by a picture of Stiles looking very unhappy with red cough syrup down his chin and neck. Obviously it had taken a few tries before the medicine was successfully administered. Scott was in the background of the picture looking pleased with himself (even if he did look just as tired as Stiles had been the last few months).
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Date: 2013-12-08 10:52 pm (UTC)Because someone had to be sad over not having an alpha anymore. Or a pack that didn't want to leave him.
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Date: 2014-01-16 02:59 am (UTC)Can we talk sometime? It's important.
Or to text him in order to talk to him later, rather.
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Date: 2014-01-16 03:16 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2014-01-26 12:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-01-26 12:21 am (UTC)School office is fine. Bring rum to bribe the squirrels.
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Date: 2014-03-30 06:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-06 01:27 pm (UTC)If you or the sheriff need anything, just let me know.
She didn't think anything would come of it, but she wanted to put that out there.
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Date: 2014-12-03 04:31 pm (UTC)Crazy Phone Day
Date: 2015-04-01 03:30 pm (UTC)If Tamsin found out she sent this to the wrong person, she'd... well, with Derek, she'd care. Oops?
Re: Crazy Phone Day
Date: 2015-04-01 11:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-04-01 05:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-04-01 11:45 pm (UTC)Crazy Phones!
Date: 2015-04-01 10:54 pm (UTC)"Dear God. I assume that wasn't for me, but if I never hear your phone sex voice again it'll be too soon. Also, no one is having or giving away any babies. I've met yours."
Re: Crazy Phones!
Date: 2015-04-01 11:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-04-01 11:29 pm (UTC)"Don't get me wrong, sweetheart, I'm flattered. But I'm pretty sure I'm not father material. Leave the baby out of the equation and maybe we can talk."
April Fool Phone
Date: 2015-04-02 01:37 am (UTC)"I do not want babies. And you shouldn't be hitting on teachers! And I am not scared of anything and I have a taser!"
BEEP.