Denny's - Mainland, Sunday Morning

[justlurkinghere]

Upon going to drag Stiles out for his morning violent flail run this morning, it became abundantly clear that something more was needed. Because Beacon Hills was an evil place and damn it, he'd warned the kid about going back there.

Therefore, it was time for a Denny's trip. Where one could repress their trauma via a Grand Slam.

Hey, whatever worked for them. Right?

[For the guy modded. Maybe in a tutu. I use my powers for evil]

Comments

[justlurkinghere]

HE LIKED THE TASTE, OKAY?

"Good," Derek replied with a nod. "Keep some on you here until Jackson has control."

[robinonadderall]

"Yes, sir." You were so bossy, Derek. "I think I know enough about gardening to not mess up planting it. Maybe Mike knows. Maybe I could use planting stuff as a metaphor when I try to segue into asking him to punch my v-card to save my life."

It would solve so many problems! Stiles was pretty sure he wouldn't be weird about it.

[justlurkinghere]

Derek's mouth smoothed into a thin line behind his coffee mug. "Shouldn't you find someone your own age for that?"

[robinonadderall]

"Nobody my age wants to sleep with me," he said. "Actually, that's a lie, two people did and they're both dead now."

Poor Erica and Heather.

"Oh man what if I'm cursed?"

[justlurkinghere]

"You could be," Derek replied, face completely serious.

When the woman you do sleep with murders everyone you love, you can claim to be cursed, Stiles.

[robinonadderall]

"I'm serious, anybody that's shown interest in me is dead," he said. "Natalie should be put under a security watch just for making out with me. I couldn't accidentally kill Mike, I'd feel so guilty."

[justlurkinghere]

"Yeah, I'm sure he'll be heartbroken by that."

[robinonadderall]

"Your sarcasm is not needed or wanted," Stiles said. "I'm having a crisis, here."

The fact he might never lose his virginity was more worrying to him than someone killing him because he was a virgin.

[justlurkinghere]

Derek rolled his eyes.

"You might not even count," he muttered.

[robinonadderall]

Stiles really wished he hadn't heard that, but he did. How dare you speak of the weekend that shall not be spoken of, Derek! "Of course I count."

They agreed it didn't count so it didn't count.

"As history has shown, if it did count you would be dead way before anything worth counting happened."

[justlurkinghere]

You could always assume men were immune to the curse, Stiles. See if Danny will help you out!

"Just don't go out alone until whoever it is has been caught." And stop trying to have sex. It was evil.

[robinonadderall]

Not having sex was evil too!

"We both know I'm not gonna obey that order." Or did you forget the dungeon of doom already? "I'll be careful, that's the only promise I can make."

[justlurkinghere]

"If you get hurt because you're too stupid to back off..."

[robinonadderall]

"Yeah I can't guarantee that won't happen either," he said. "I'm not helping your paranoia any am I?"

[justlurkinghere]

"It's not paranoia when it comes true," Derek replied.

[robinonadderall]

"You're free to say 'I told you so' to me when I'm in the hospital." Yes, let's joke about this.

[justlurkinghere]

That would involve going to your Beacon Hills, Stiles! Knowing his luck, he'd run into Ms. Blake and things would just get awkward.

"Don't end up in one and you'll be spared that fate."

[robinonadderall]

"Yeah yeah, it's not a goal of mine," he said. "Man you better not say one damn word in protest next time I get all crazy protective."

He would not put up with Jesus werewolf antics from this Derek, no sir.

[justlurkinghere]

But he needs that to woo people, Stiles! How else would he woo?!

"That last time didn't count," he grumbled. "I couldn't heal normally."

[robinonadderall]

"What? Of course it counted," he said. "I disapprove of all hurting whether you heal from it or not, dumbass."

He had such a way with words.

[justlurkinghere]

Stiles. You can't say things like that when there was repression happening. It messed everything up.

And Derek gave you those puppy eyes of hopeful wonder. God, those were annoying. Just look at it!

[robinonadderall]

Stiles had the sense of a brick when it came to this sort of stuff so to him it kind of looked like Derek was about to throw up. "Don't do it near my food."

[justlurkinghere]

WELL, THANK GOD FOR THAT.

"What?" Thank you for that.

[robinonadderall]

"You looked weird for a second I thought you were gonna puke," he said. "You okay?"

[justlurkinghere]

"I'm not going to puke on your food," Derek snapped, latching onto that to avoid ~emotions~.