Causeway Parking Lot, Monday Morning

[justlurkinghere]

You might think that waking up after a strange weekend where you were happily married and no one was actively trying to kill you anymore was a good thing. Because it showed that somewhere along the line, things went well for Derek.

You would be wrong. Because Derek was waking up in the backseat of a shitty blue jeep, with doggie bags from Denny's, condom wrappers, and someone with him... was possibly the worst Monday morning ever.

This was counting that one time he woke up in a pile of leaves, yes.

So, hopefully Stiles would forgive him for shoving him away and scrambling for the door handle like a cornered animal.

[[For the husband no more! And NFB please!]]

Comments

[robinonadderall]

"OW, GODDAMMIT!" Shoving was a terrible way to wake up, jeez. Stiles blinked, and quickly tried to get his bearings, pushing down any rising panic when he realized Derek was trying to escape. "DON'T MOVE, YOU STAY RIGHT THERE!"

Yeah as if he was going to let you run away like a scared deer, Derek.

[justlurkinghere]

Excuse you! He was a majestic stag of panic.

Derek froze, glaring at him once he realized he was listening to the orders of a teenager. This was so uncalled for, Stiles.

[robinonadderall]

"Were you seriously about to run off and leave me here?!" He was the teenager, he was the one that was supposed to run off in a panic goddammit!

Instead it looked like he was about to just freak out right here in the jeep, if the way he was clutching what he and Scott had been calling the "Emergency Jackson Nudity Blanket" was any indication.

[justlurkinghere]

Derek had the sinking sudpicion that saying 'yes' here would end badly. Which was why he said, "Yes?"

Because he was terrible.

[robinonadderall]

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Stiles yelled. "You'd rather walk of shame it back to the island without being fully dressed instead of dealing with me? I'm your friend, you asshole, not some chick you picked up in a bar with your creepy smile!"

Ms. Blake had so much to look forward to, apparently!

[justlurkinghere]

Ms. Blake better be up for all the messed up emotional responses. Lets be real here. Derek was a hot mess with a great ass. But still a hot mess.

"You're my student," Derek hissed rather than mention that giant ball of issues that needed soooo much therapy.

[robinonadderall]

"That's what you're worried about? For fuck's sake, Derek, they're not gonna fire you for what happened on a weird weekend," Stiles said. "Especially one where we were both enthusiastically consenting, married adults."

Why was he being the mature one here?

[justlurkinghere]

Because he was the mature one.

"Why are you making this into something?" No, Derek. You were the one freaking out.

[robinonadderall]

"Me? What--" Stiles threw his hands out in frustration because apparently he had landed in the Twilight Zone. "Okay, ignoring the part where it is you who is making this into something, the fact remains that I do kind of have a right to be freaking out here considering I have no idea where this falls on the virginity-losing scheme."

Stiles rubbed his eyes and tried to take a deep, calming breath. Which probably wasn't the best idea. "And my jeep reeks!"

[justlurkinghere]

"Bleach," Derek blurted out. "Before Scott is in here again."

Yeah, that was the trick to fool werewolf parents. It did not actually work, FYI.

Also, stop making Derek want to hyperventilate over your virginity crisis. It was rude. "We didn't--it wasn't really us," he added, becoming more certain as he talked himself through it.

[robinonadderall]

"It sure as hell feels like--" Stiles stopped abruptly when he noticed Derek genuinely looked like he was freaking out more than necessary. "Dude, you are seriously worrying me right now, are you okay?"

[justlurkinghere]

"I'm fine," Derek ground out, glaring at him as though to dare Stiles to claim otherwise. "Just. Give me my pants."

Even though they weren't insanely tight. HE LOST HIS EDGE IN THE FUTURE.

[robinonadderall]

Yeah Stiles wasn't believing that at all, and judging from the glare he shot back at Derek, he wasn't very happy with being shut out. He didn't say anything though, just tossed Derek his pants with more force than necessary before digging around for his own clothes.

[justlurkinghere]

It was a jeep of emotional issues!

Once he had too loose pants, he was able to form more coherent sentences. "Barton is going to murder me."

It was actually a reasonable conclusion to come to.

[robinonadderall]

"I don't think he's figured out the wolfsbane thing yet so you're probably safe from actually being murdered," Stiles said as he pulled on his shirt. "You'll probably be shot though."

[justlurkinghere]

"Enough arrows work the same," he grumbled, closing eyes eyes and leaning back against the door, the furthest away from Stiles allowed in the small space.

[robinonadderall]

"He's not going to kill you. It wasn't actually us," Stiles said, rolling his eyes at Derek's general Derek-ness. "You can go if you want. Now that you're not going to be arrested for indecent exposure."

Yeah, because that was why Stiles yelled at Derek to stay in the first place, sure. Not because he wanted to discuss this at all to make sure they were okay.

[justlurkinghere]

He would have grabbed pants!

Okay, that was a lie.

Derek cracked open an eye to confirm that wasn't a 'we need to talk' or 'you know what you did wrong' style trick. "It wasn't," he confirmed. Because people were happy. And that's impossible thanks to Jeff Davis.

[robinonadderall]

"That's what I just said," Stiles said, because the bratty teenager thing was what he was most comfortable with. "It wasn't us, so you can stop with whatever manpain-fueled brooding mode you're about settle into."

[justlurkinghere]

Leave his brooding manpain alone!

"Shut up," Derek replied maturely, grabbing what appeared to be a flannel shirt and opening the door to gracefully climb out. Oh god, future him wore flannel.

[robinonadderall]

Flannel was awesome, how dare you!

"You go ahead. I'm gonna clean out the jeep." And have his freak out in private because that was just what Stiles did.

[justlurkinghere]

Well good! Derek would just repress everything he could in the privacy of his bedroom. While not hugging the dog.

"You do that," Derek snapped. "Use bleach. It reeks."

Wow, you guys were really keeping up the good ol' Beacon Hills tradition of no one telling each other the truth.

[robinonadderall]

Being open and honest would have been the smart, logical thing to do and we can't have that!

"I'll keep that in mind, Martha Stewart, thanks." Yeah, bleach wasn't gonna work. At least cleaning would give someplace for Stiles to vent his misplaced anger and frustration.