Kid Friendly Mansion of Moderate Creep Levels, Saturday Morning

[justlurkinghere]

The house Derek woke up this time wasn't as dilapidated or creepy as the last one. Which was a definite plus.

And there was still the puff ball dog! Another plus.

The biggest plus, however? Fully stocked fridge.

So, with the puff ball dog tucked carefully into one of the flannel shirts he'd found upstairs, Derek was digging through the stuff to make himself a sandwich. Sorry about stealing all the lunch meat, Mike.

[[Open, of course!]]

Comments

[throughaphase]

"A hyperthetical," she repeated. "Like it didn't happen, but it could happen."

She knew the word, but explaining it was hard when you were six.

[robinonadderall]

"Trust me, this occasion calls for it!" Stiles said, slapping his hands over his own eyes. Really, that was just a stupid thing to do considering he should probably be putting his hands over the kid's eyes to keep him from looking upon the box of sex toys.

Oh god Derek owned sex toys. More than one. He didn't even know what to do with this information! This was terrible and kind of hot but also terrible because he couldn't think about how hot that was right now!

[justlurkinghere]

"What? Why?" EXPLAIN IT SO THAT DEREK CAN HIDE FOREVER ON MONDAY.

[justlurkinghere]

"But it didn't." Excuse him for being very literal.

[robinonadderall]

"Because--because you shouldn't have opened that!" Stiles said, still keeping his eyes covered. "Those are private things that are for adults and oh my god close the box. Close it right now."

[justlurkinghere]

"You're the adult!" Oh, Derek.

But he shut the box and shoved it at Stiles' chest like he could fix this.

[throughaphase]

"Learning and dancing are a lot of fun," Kitty nodded. "And I'm gonna play baseball! Mom says I can when I'm a little older."

[throughaphase]

"That's why it's a hyperthetical," she said, and decided, "It's a good thing you don't have a fish."

[robinonadderall]

Stiles had no choice but to grab on to whatever Derek was shoving at him and he made a squeaking noise when he realized what it was. "No, no don't give it to me! It's yours! I mean, not--I mean older you!"

[justlurkinghere]

RUDE, KITTY.

"You don't either."

[justlurkinghere]

Derek sighed, shoving himself up to abandon Stiles with the box of confusion. "I want to play video games. I'm going to play and you're going to be weird."

[robinonadderall]

"You're weird!" Stiles shot back. "And give me my hoodie back!"

Stiles looked down at the box in his arms and quickly went to put it back where thought it might have been. But not before opening it up again to get a closer look. "Oh my god how many vibrating settings do you need?"

Well now he was kind of jealous. He couldn't get that stuff until he was eighteen.

[justlurkinghere]

A LOT, STILES. HE NEEDED A LOT.

"Who are you talking to?" Derek shouted from the stairs. Because werewolf hearing.

The hoodie was his. Deal with it.

[robinonadderall]

"I can get behind baseball. I'm a Mets fan myself," Stiles said. "Too clumsy to actually play though."

[throughaphase]

"No, but I don't want one. They don't even do tricks," Kitty pointed out.

[newroutines]

Mike was okay with all the lunch meat being gone. He was also pretty chill with this whole fandom weirdness thing. Or at least relatively calm.

Meaning he took one look at the kitchen and said, "Oh, again?"

[justlurkinghere]

"Joe doesn't either."

Puppy Joe was, in fact, licking the floor. Damn it, Puppy Joe.

[justlurkinghere]

"Hi, Mike!" See how much a difference the nicer house and scent mingling made? See?

[throughaphase]

Kitty was not a fan of your Mets, Stiles. "Cubs all the way," she said. "Maybe I can play for them someday, too."

[robinonadderall]

"Nobody!" Stiles shoved the box into the back of the closet and willed himself to not think about it. Until later. When he was alone.

Then he scrambled downstairs. "We're never speaking of that again, understood?"

[throughaphase]

Kitty looked down at him. "The floor doesn't look very tasty."

[justlurkinghere]

"Maybe there's food on it?" Nope.

[throughaphase]

"Probably not anymore," Kitty shrugged.

[justlurkinghere]

"Okay." Look, Derek had already repressed the unknown trauma by shoving the Wii-mote at Stiles. "I want to play Mario Kart."

And get pissed off at the fucking blue shells.

[robinonadderall]

"Hoodie first." Oh ho, he could get something he wanted out of this and maybe soothe some of his trauma.